We’re In Miami, Bitch! … is a song popularised by that band you haven’t thought about in 10 years, LMFAO (lol, lmfao).
But the sentiment from that song is ever-present. Because, we are indeed, now in Miami, Bitch. The Hard Rock Circuit to be precise. Yes, there really is nothing more American than building an F1 track around an NFL stadium.
What’s been happening in the lead-up to this race? There’s a certain irony to this, but Danny has been tearing up the showbiz circuit (wearing a kinda cool blue raincoat on the Daily Show?!) in the same week as “paddock rumours” are flying about that he’s on the chopping block at McLaren in favour of some American fella. These rumours are mostly pushed by F1 nerds on my FYP on TikTok, but that they persist is a testament to the enhanced US obsession with a sport they’ve traditionally never liked. Regardless, let’s hope for a vastly improved showing from DR3 this weekend.
What can we expect this week from a track that we’ve never raced at before? Here are some key questions we should all be wondering:
Has Carlos cracked under the presh or will the Smooooooth Operator perform in the city of vice?
Will a drunken fan fall into the widely mocked fake “Marina” (which somehow looks like the pixelated graphics in Wave Race 64… totally underrated game btw)?
Will the Papayas backslide? Where did Lando get his suit from to attend his brothers’ wedding during the week, and is the answer “Politix at Chaddy”?
Where the fuck has Mr Karun “Sweetie-Pie” Chandhok been and will he be wearing a white pant this w/e?!
On the f1natic front, will former League Leader, Andrew Frawley, rekindle his barnstorming early season form or will he forget to put his tips in while on his honeymoon in Byron Baes (sic)? And will Bobby Pross extend his lead or will he crumble under the crushing burden of being the numero uno?
Not to be outdone by the American fanfare, Ze Germans at the Volkswagen Group have this week decided they finally wanna get some F1 about them. Porsche and Audi (both VW companies) will be coming to F1 in one form or another, but what that looks like remains to be seen. There’s probably a joke here.
Anywho, get your tips in. This weekend’s times are kind to those with kids, and those sickos that pretend like they are actually part of the 4am club.
And back by popular demand (i.e. at least one of you asked), there will be more f1natic tipper profiles coming real soon! Watch the IG page for who is up next [Hint: it’s former grid girl (“the classy kind”) Sass Wilcox].